Do you pity Emily?

[S2Lit2008HCI]

Gentlemen, in order to prepare for the coming examination, I would like all of you to consider this question:

Do you pity Emily? If so, why?

Kindly share your thoughts here. We will use this as a basis for discussion and revision when school reopens in Term 4.

Miss Ngo

[2akeithgoh13]

Hi all,

Yes i do pity Emily to a certain extent as she tried her best to give her family the best. She helped Richard find a job, she sent him overseas to study, she took care of Kheong and the other family members' needs and she also cooked their favourite food.

However, as the saying goes there are two sides to the same coin. There is much difference between them and we should look at them both.

There is a reason why we should not pity Emily as she has brought all this misery upon herself due to her tight control over her family members and her dictatorial character.

Her tight-fisted control over Richard's future and what he can do has forced Richard to take his own life. Similarly this control also caused Kheong to leave her for another women. It is also known that all her children left her immediately when they married and she went mad in the end.

Thus Emily has reasons for us to both pity and not to pity her.

[2alibo31]

hallo bubs,

well generally the answer is two-sided to this discussion.

firstly and superficially, obviously she is to be pitied. She is "a good mother and wife", taking care of everything in the household, arranged for Richard to go overseas, get a job and
even perhaps a marriage.

from the surface level, she was definitely was to be pitied, wanting only the best for her children and husband, but got nothing in return except disappointment and sadness, from this she was seen as a frail old lady instead of a dominating matriarch.

but if u look deep into the cause/roots of the sufferings she received, you realise that perhaps she had brought upon them herself. well the cause for richard's misfortune may be attributed to her executing a strangling control over his life, causing her to neglect his richard's interest or feeling with the excuse"it is best for him" and "you want to make mother happy". this may be the reason that caused richard's defiance, which eventually lead to him commiting suicide.

of course there is more examples, in terms of Kheong and so on.

basically i think whether she was to be pitied or not depend on how you read/view/understand the story.

cheerz,
libo

[2bwenkang04]

Hi,
I feel that Emily should be pitied to a certain extent. This is because she, like what others have said above, was a technically 'good' and 'caring' wife, even though it wasn't shown clearly. She loved Richard but he died. She loved Kheong but he died too. Although it is partially her fault due to 'selfish love', we would still feel a twang of pity for her because partly due to the dramatisation of the play (a dramatic monologue) and because she was unlucky too in love. Emily should only be pitied to a certain extent because it was also technically her fault that both Richard and Kheong died.

Regards,
Wen Kang

[2btaytianwen28]

Hi all,

I do pity Emily, for in her pursuit for power and search for love, she has lost the things that mean the most to her- Kheong and Richard. After the deaths of both Kheong and Richard, Emily reflects upon herself, and protests that she was a good wife and mother to both of them, which is probably a result from her lack of love and warmth since she was a kid. Love creates a huge impact on anybody, irregardless of whether it's parental or family love.

Furthermore, Emily somewhat "brought this upon herself', due to her "overloving" Richard, having a tight grip on the lives of both her eldest son and her husband. In the case of Richard, She persuading Richard to return to the university to further his studies is a decision not in the best interests of richard, but rather hers. This results in Richard hanging himself. In the case of Kheong, kheong seeks an escape from Emily's domineering shadow and tight grip over him, through a secretary, Diana. In the end, Kheong refused to see Emily even on his deathbed, showing that Kheong had never truly loved Emily and that Emily was just Kheong's wife-in-name only.

In the end, Emily succeeds in being the matriach of the Gan household, at the loss of family, her husband, her children and love.

Do post any comments.

Tian Wen

[2bjosephlim10]

Hello

Yes, I do pity Emily, but only to a certain extent.

I do pity Emily as she was only trying to be a good wife and a good mother to her children. The subsequent sequence of events that took place in the book, she most probably did not want any of those to happen.
Firstly, she was a good wife to Kheong, "serving" him and taking care of him all these time till he died. Even when Kheong was seeing Diana, she still took care of him and washed his clothes, cook for him, as if nothing had happened, though she did protest in the end. However, she still took her duties as a wife very seriously and thus was trying to be a good wife to Kheong.
Secondly, Emily was trying to be a good mother to her children, Richard, Dorris and Charlie. Everything she did, she claimed was only the best for them. She wanted Richard to have a good future, and thus, sent him overseas for studies. She wanted Richard to have a good birthday, and a splendid birthday party was put up. She was concerned about their results at school, etc. In short, she did everything she could to be a good mother and help her children.

However, I only pity her to a certain extent. All the things she did may have an ulterior motive. For example, when Kheong was seeing Diana, she still clung on to him , perhaps because she knew that without Kheong at her side, her power would be gone almost immediately. When Richard got results that was not up to her expectations, she was concerned about his results as she wanted Richard to gain the father-in-law's favour, in doing so, he might then leave a large part of the inheritance to Richard, indirectly giving access to the inheritance. The above example shows clearly that Emily is trying to curry favour the father-in-law, so that Richard can be the so called "favourite grandson", showing that she has a ulterior motive.
She also tried to exert control over people arid her, be it Kheong, Richard, Dorris, etc. She wanted to be the "top person", the one who controls people. Sadly, this turned out to be a failure, leading the sequence of events that happened in the story - Richard committing suicide, Kheong having an affair, everyone leaving her alone in the house in the end.

Hence, I feel Emily is only to be pitied to a certain extent.

Regards
Joseph

[2adanieltan08]

Yes, I pity Emily to a large extent, as she was true in her intentions to love and care for her family, but her method and way of expressing love to her family was wrong, due to her pitiful childhood.

Emily was a very devoted mother to her family. Once she married into the Gan household, she began to look after everyone in the family, and even though she did not have a maid, she did all the chores herself, saying that she "never cried for herself". This shows her devotion in the Gan household, as she wants to prove she is a good and worthy wife to a family who "hated (her) before they knew (her) name". Her devotion can also be shown as she wants the best for Richard, whether in studies or in life, and she even looks after the family carefully, by cooking the food her family likes and also ensures that their living standards are high, by helping to solve her children's problems in any way she can. For her family, Emily always go all out, and that she can be described as a one-woman show - she has the capability and such strong devotion to the Gan household that she takes it upon herself to look after and care for every single one of the family, including the gardeners and odd-job workers living in the residence of the Gan household, thus showing how true and real her intentions and devotion were to her family.

Furthermore, Emily is to be pitied due to the fact that she loved her family, but her method and concept of love was narrow and misguided. This is shown since Emily was young, due to the fact that her father died when she was still in her childhood and her mother's strong traditional view on girls being inferior to boys, caused Emily to suffer from an immense lack of parental love and care. This important but blank requirement of Emily's life gave her a misguided conception on love as maintaining control over one's family so that the family does not fall apart, and that love is being protective and controlling over one's family till the extent that the family must depend and rely on you, so that they will recognise and respect your position as a wife and mother. Therefore, Emily's misconception on love made her "love" her children the wrong way, thus indirectly causing them to try and break free from her overwhelming and "suffocating" control she has on them, as shown by Richard's suicide and Kheong's affair. Moreover, Emily's love for her family might have been stemmed from her quest of power and respect in the Gan household, which gives her a sense of assurance and security in life, and thus she was blinded to the fact loving was not control, and when she finally realised that she was wrong all along, her two most important people in her life , Richard and Kheong, had both passed away. All this shows that Emily is not to be blamed, instead it was her childhood and her sufferings form the past that made he who she was - the domineering and controlling mother - at that part of time in the play.

La La La ... La La La ...

-)B@CK~ST@B(-
f33l th3 p@1n .
t@st3 th3 1njust1c3.
Wr1th3 1n @g0ny.

[2cryuto29]

In a way yes, I do pity Emily. Firstly, she is meant to be a housewife. Like any ordinary housewife, one would like order in the house. As a mother, she would want the best for her son and her son to be successful, happy and most likely to be wealthy. As a wife, she would want to love her husband too.

In her point of view, she has done nothing wrong. But in ours, she has strayed too far from a housewife's "goal". She has become what we call a perfectionist. By following what I said just now by calling then "guidelines", Emily has been too strictly following those guidelines. I wouldn't say thats wrong because that is what we commonly call kiasu.

On the flipside, for Richard's death and Kheongs departure, Richard killed himself because of te pressure he received from Emily and found no other possible solution to escape Emily's grasp other than suicide. For Kheong, he too wanted to be far from Emily's grasp so he left for Diana, whom we also cannot confirm that she is Kheong's woman or sleeper due to insufficient evidence from the play. If they did want Emily to stop pressuring and controlling them, why didnt they ask her to stopin he first place? They could have talked to her, discussed with her about Emily's actions. Even if Emily fails to listen, this way, Emiyl will haveto take the full blame for Richard and Kheong.

[2bmarcel16]

I would like to add my thoughts.

I pity Emily because of her sad and pitiful end as matriarch of the family and yet partially mad. After all, she as done what she thought was right, and this cannot be faulted no matter how much they have backfired. This can be seen from her saying " Richard, I was a good mother to you..." ad everything. Her lack of ability to love properly cannot be attributed to her simply wanting to be domineering. Her sad childhood caused this, as she had never experienced real love from her parents, she is probably unable to love her kin in the right way. After all, nobody doesn't want to love their child. This lack of ability to love can be said to cause her "downfall" at the end, and as such I pity her.

However, as much has Emily has been said to be a kind-intentioned mother and wife, I would like to point out that she was still a rather selfish mother and wife. She seeked power too much and her urging Richard to do law against his wishes and Kheong to become a councilor shows this. This decreases the level of pity she deserves.

To really judge the level of pity she deserves, the key point to note is how the pursuit of power affected her relationships with others. At the end of the day, it is not intention which decides other's relationship with you. It is the actions and respect you can command. What may seem as a kind-hearted gesture to you may seem like a controlling play on others. All said, the ones doing the things with kind intentions are mostly the ones who are myopic to the consequences of their various actions, and she probably did not realize this. Her inability to change also decreases the amount of pity I have for her.

[Terre Chua 2B29]

Hi all,

Yes, i do pity Emily, but only to a certain extent.

I pity Emily for the situation that she was in, towards the end of the play. At the end of the play, Emily was finally the matriarch of the household. However, she had lost her family. She was practically the only one left in the house. People seldom visited her and hence, i do pity Emily for the consequences that she had to bear, for being so domineering and ambitious in the past. To be specific, i feel that she is rather pathetic towards the end of the play and being so pathetic, this will cause the readers, like me, to pity her for she was such a "poor thing" at the end of the play.

I believe that it is very common for one to be ambitious, but not as ambitious as Emily was.

Furthermore, i also pity Emily for the sad childhood she had. However, having such a sad childhood may be one of the reasons that cause Emily to be so ambitious or rather domineering as she grew up.

However, i do not pity Emily in certain areas. She may deserve some pity in some areas like the situation she was in at the end of the play. Nevertheless, she had brought all the consequences upon herself. Hence, being so pitiful in the end may be a retribution for her, after being so domineering and ambitious. She had controlled Richard too harshly and the tight control she had on her family members, proved that she should not be pitied by readers.

Hence, i feel that Emily should only be pities to a certain extent.

[.]

.